Squirl's Nest

Monday, November 14, 2005

First Kiss

This is mrtl's Monday Motif. I found it through Susie this morning.

My parents had decided that I shouldn't date until I was 16. I think a lot of parents use that number. I wonder how often they end up sticking with it. Kinda hard when you have access to members of the opposite gender close by in town. Susie was saying that she didn't have the opportunities, living in the country, that the city kids had. Well, I was a city girl. And well, being in the city means living closer to other teenagers.

There was a group of us, male and female, who used to hang out together. There was an elementary school nearby and we could walk over there, or we could walk around town. Most of us were 15 and nobody could drive yet.

I was really wanting to have a boyfriend by that time. There was one boy in the group who I really liked, but he liked my bitchy friend better. I never get that: guys going for girls who are bitches, and girls going for guys who are real jerks.

Anyway, there was another boy who occasionally hung out with us. Bill didn't go to our school. He went to the Christian high school in the town to the north of us. The kids who went to that Christian school thought they were really hot stuff. Their attitude wasn't one I'd like to attribute to "Christians" in general. But this guy was kinda cute and we seemed to get along.

It was the end of winter and we'd just been over with the group trying to break up the ice at the little rink (rest of the year tennis court) at the elementary school. He walked me home and we kept talking outside the house. Just before he left, he kissed me. It was nothing to write home about, but it was my first kiss.

Well we were"going together" for a few weeks when he abruptly cut it off. His father had found out that I was Catholic so Bill wasn't allowed to see me anymore. Another lesson learned about religious intolerance.

I'm not saying that taught me to be any wiser in choices of boyfriends after that. But at least none of the others used the religion excuse to break up with me.

45 comments

Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Heh heh heh...I kinda remember Bill, even though he was a short-termer.
Was he around long enough for me to ask him the infamous question, "Are you gonna marry my sister?"

Mon Nov 14, 01:17:00 PM  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Sometimes I wonder about the reality of parents establishing a “dating age” for their children. So often they base the age on their own experiences, with the pre-conscious implication being: “I don’t want my kid to make the mistake(s) I made.”

Ending a relationship because of religion differences seems to me to be an unjust act. My father, who was far from religious, expressed concern because the woman I married was of a different religion. As I reflected on his prejudice, I realized it was more the result of political prejudiced that could be traced to our European ancestors than contemporary concern about religious beliefs.

But, Squirl, I celebrate your first kiss, even if it wasn’t the greatest you ever experienced.

Mon Nov 14, 01:23:00 PM  
Blogger Effie said...

How rude! Not that much of a romantic love story, eh?! Now, how's about the first kiss with Ichabod--that's gotta be a good romance story!

It was the "No Dating until you're 16" rule for us too, but I didn't wait--bad me!

Mon Nov 14, 02:40:00 PM  
Blogger Nina said...

Someone else remembering their first kiss. I have sat here trying to remember, and I just can't. Not having a relationship because of religion differences is just something I can't understand.

Oh and zfrpkleb . . . I don't have a clue.

Mon Nov 14, 02:41:00 PM  
Blogger Squirl said...

Bucky, no, he was the first boyfriend and you didn't have that little humiliation figured out yet.

SS Nick, dating ages just can't be that arbitrary. Some guys would like their daughters to be at least 30 or older before dating. :-)

Yeah, religion should be a good thing. People really know how to use it as a weapon.

Thank you for celebrating my first kiss.

Effie, yeah, well, his dad thought he was doing the right thing. I wouldn't have switched to his religion so there would have been plenty of friction. But I was only 15 and wasn't about to try anything yet that would've made me "have to get married", if you catch my drift. wink wink

My first kiss with Ichabod was, well, there's a big difference between kissing a guy who's 15 (if I remember correctly), and waiting until the guy is in his later 20s. Not divulging any more. :-)

Who waits until 16 anyway, right?

Nina, it was that forgettable, huh? Don't know why I remember mine either, then. :-)

And I think being of different religions is only a problem if you let it be. We were young and bounced back. Well, of course he did. The girl he started dating right after me did end up being his wife. She was a Protestant but I don't remember what kind. She switched to his church and that was that.

elpnt elephant?

Mon Nov 14, 03:15:00 PM  
Blogger Von Krankipantzen said...

I had no idea that some Christians had a beef with Catholics. What next?

Mon Nov 14, 03:25:00 PM  
Blogger Squirl said...

Hi, Kranki, you'd think, in this day and age, that wouldn't be so anymore. But there's been bad blood (and lots of blood) between 'em since Luther posted his reforms.

I found out a lot more about than I ever thought I'd know when I read the novel, London. It's an historical novel that start back around the ice age and comes to present. It really shows the Catholic/Protestant mess that happened in Europe/UK.

Mon Nov 14, 03:32:00 PM  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Kisses? Ewwww! GERMS!

Mon Nov 14, 03:52:00 PM  
Blogger Squirl said...

Mr B, tee hee, and cooties.

brdop bird droppings?

Mon Nov 14, 03:59:00 PM  
Blogger hellokittn said...

The whole "guys dig bitches" is the only way a chiapet can get dates. Don't knock it :).

Great post Squirl! I'm glad your first kiss, though uneventful, was memorable enough to share with blog land.

As for the religious intolerance... well, you know how I feel about that. I got the religious bigotry as well as the "you can't date her, she's half black" bull-cum-cruddery. Ef them all I say... ef em all.

Mon Nov 14, 04:24:00 PM  
Blogger tshsmom said...

You gotta kiss a lot of toads before you find your Prince Charming!

Mon Nov 14, 04:39:00 PM  
Blogger Susie said...

Phrase of the day: "my bitchy friend."

Well, I was all happy that it was a Christian boy, but he turned out not to be all that; or at least his Dad did. I see other commenters don't know that in certain parts of this country, at certain times, there has been a big Catholic/Protestant "thing." Growing up Southern Baptist, I was aware that Catholics were bad news, spiritually speaking ("they can do anything they want, as long as they confess it!"), although my parents did not discriminate in that way. As an adult Protestant marrying into a Catholic family, I can't count how many times I've been rejected. My marriage "isn't real;" I can't take communion with people I love at their church (although they are welcome to do so at mine), this has been especially hurtful at occasions of family funerals and weddings.
I don't often speak FOR God, but I feel pretty safe in saying that kind of ignorant exclusion of one another doesn't make Jesus one bit happy.

This is one of the things I love about blogging. The way one thing leads to another. As a practicing Christian, and former Baptist, perhaps of the ilk of Bill's father, I humbly apologize to you on behalf of ignorant Protestants everywhere, and if I may be so bold, on behalf of Martin Luther hisdamnself, who would never have behaved so badly.

Thank you. That is all.

Mon Nov 14, 05:57:00 PM  
Blogger eclectic said...

****applause for Susie****

And now for a rant:

I was here earlier, and I left a comment. It may have been lame, but I don't think it merited complete rejection by Blogger! Where'd it go?? However, viewing its loss as an opportunity to improve my initial comment attempt, I shall now make the following remark:

Squirl, any "dad" of a "boyfriend" too dim-witted to recognize his son's good fortune in persuading you to keep him company.... well, such a man is just too dumb to be trusted as breeding stock.

Mon Nov 14, 07:23:00 PM  
Blogger Squirl said...

Chia, you know all about bigotry. And you get the guys any way you need to. ;-)

tshsmom, and, boy did I! Ichabod isn't a toad but he does a fair imitation of a green frog.

Susie, isn't sad that instead finding common ground in our religions we only look to find reasons to fight. Most of those are political and are used to stir the emotions of the rank and file. I have a new motto: We should find commonality in our spirituality!

And I don't know if you've ever heard of Christian Reformed but that's what Bill was.

Eclectic, wasn't Susie eloquent? Sorry that Blogger's being stupid. And thank you. I appreciate that. Not good breeding stock at all. :-)

Mon Nov 14, 08:29:00 PM  
Blogger Susie said...

I don't know about Christian Reformed. There are so many little pipsqueak evangelical/fundamentalist denominations...why can't we all just get along?

I love to hang out here where people are so nice to me :)

RANT TIME:
I can't explain to you my and Jif and LG's schedule today because I'd burst into flames if I tried, but one of the things I needed to do was see this client that I scheduled months ago, when I was "full" and couldn't see anybody, so I went way up in my calendar and found an opening for her. Well, in the meantime, all manner of crap came up that I needed to do instead tonight, but I juggled it all, and got help where I could, and kept that woman on my book. I called her last week to confirm, since it had been so long since our original contact. Yes, indeed, she would be there. So I went in to the office, just for her. And she FREAKIN' NO-SHOWED!!!! If she calls me again, I will see her, hypnotize her sorry ass and split her into 57 different personalities.
END OF RANT

Mon Nov 14, 08:55:00 PM  
Blogger August95 said...

Sorry about your uneventful first kiss. At least it turned into something to blog about, so not all bad.

Mon Nov 14, 08:56:00 PM  
Blogger Squirl said...

Susie, what an inconsiderate bitch! It's not like she forgot since you called to confirm. That just takes the virtual cake. I like your little revenge. You'll never do it, but it sure is fun to think about.

Oh, the Christian Reformed? They are a Dutch thing. There are a lot of Dutch in Western Michigan. The Christian Reformed were so fundamentalist and intolerant that even open-minded, Renaissance Holland made them leave. So, they chose West Michigan. I work in a city with a very Dutch name and it's right next to a city called Holland.

August, it turns out that there usually is something to blog about, even in the worst situations.

Mon Nov 14, 09:05:00 PM  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

After reading all these comments, I have formulated a plan. EVERY single girl that my son brings home (years away people, he's only 7) I'm going to go nuts over her.

"OH! I love her!" "She's PERFECT!" "When does she move in?!" "I think you two should get married!" "I can't wait to see you change your first diaper!"

Oh yeah, he'll dump her fast and my boy will remain innocent.

Tue Nov 15, 06:46:00 AM  
Blogger Susie said...

Mr. B, good plan. When my LG was about 3 she was asking about getting married, and "how do you choose a husband?" I answered as best I could, then she said, "That's too hard for me. Will you pick my husband for me, Mama?" AW, HELL YEA! I had her sign a contract right on the spot, giving me her proxy in that matter. You think I'm joking. I'm not joking. Little block letters, in crayon.

Squirl, I did not know about the Michigan Dutch. Hmmm, interesting. Maryland is predominantly Catholic, from day one.

Tue Nov 15, 07:08:00 AM  
Blogger Squirl said...

Mr B, I think you've got something there. If you sound too happy over anything a teenager likes it suddenly becomes suspect.

Susie, that's brilliant! Do you think it will stand up in court?

I don't know about Kentucky in general, but my particular neighborhood there was mostly Irish and Italian. Quite a few Catholics there, of course. :-)

Tue Nov 15, 07:29:00 AM  
Blogger hellokittn said...

Hey Susie - You can pick my husband too :).

Ya know... in preparation for LG's time :).

Tue Nov 15, 08:33:00 AM  
Blogger Squirl said...

Hey, Chia, you might have something going for you there. Maybe Susie could start a new career as a matchmaker. All the years of marriage counseling should really come in handy. :-)

Tue Nov 15, 09:25:00 AM  
Blogger Susie said...

chchchchia, I'm all over that! Send me their resumes, I'll interview them, consider it done ;)

Hmmm. Two things to observe: How does he treat his mama? How did his dad treat his mama? Very telling, these two.

Tue Nov 15, 10:24:00 AM  
Blogger eclectic said...

Yes indeed, Susie. One of the things that touched me early on about Mr. E was the indescribable love and respect which he and his sibs all show their mother. And I had to laugh at you and LG, because my friend Paula has a similar writing by my own LGE giving Paula irrevocable rights to go an each and every "car date" LGE has before age 21. And don't think Paula won't do it, either!!!

Tue Nov 15, 11:49:00 AM  
Anonymous Amber said...

Stupid Hoity Toits, that's what I say.

Unfortunately Christian schools are private schools and the private schools unfortunately host more affluent hoity toits. I like calling them that, just because they are all prissy.

Boy, some people can just ruin it for ya, can't they?

Like, that guy having to break up with you because you were slightly different? Come on, people.

And the dating age thing, I totally don't get that. My stance is that I will let my kids date whenever they can prove they are mature enough to date.

My mom never set any rules about it on me, but then again, I never dated anyone until Andy, and I was just about to turn 16. (There's that 16 number again..huh.)

I've known some pretty...umm...let me just say this..STRONG..fundamentalist Christians, and somehow they are always the ones that seem to screw up really bad somewhere along the road. No offense, really.

But it just makes me sad that there are people out that that really screw up by being intolerant and hateful, but that they preach tolerance and love. It really makes me sad.

Why can't we all just get along, people? Understand there are differences in theology and doctrine? We don't know all the answers. We shouldn't claim to know them, either. And I think that's the main problem is that we have all these denominations being soooo nitpicky about this or that and get into fights about it.

Stop being so nitpicky. Jesus came, he loved, he wants you to love, be nice, and have some good fun. "No fighting, children!!!"

teehee

And about the guys picking the bitches and girls picking the jerks:

I always thought that, as well, in high school. But it always turned out that the jerks were picking the bitches and the bitches were picking the jerks. So I got left with a keeper. ;)

biadkpp -- Be bad, k? Peepee.

Tue Nov 15, 01:43:00 PM  
Blogger Squirl said...

Susie, very good point. All my brothers have always treated my mother with respect and I think they've all been good husbands. Ichabod loves his mother but he learned heavy sarcasm at her knee. He repays her in kind. :-)

Eclectic, let's see how LGE's story changes as she gets older. tee hee

Amber, yeah those kids were pretty hoity-toity acting, quite snobbish. I agree that there's no good reason that we can't all get along together. People work just as hard at hating each other as they would were they to get along together. They need to pay more attention to the new testament where Christ said his stuff if they're going to call themselves Christians. There's my rant. :-)

Tue Nov 15, 06:56:00 PM  
Anonymous Danielle said...

My parents also did the "can't date until you are 16." Sadly enough, no one wanted to date me until I was 16, so it wasn't like there was a line of guys at the door ready to stage a protest at the age restriction. ;-)

As for the gazillion denominations, you know that there _is_ one whose goal is to find the commonalities among Christians and to try to get more denominations to become one. Thus far, they've merged at least 3 that I can think of. :-)

Wed Nov 16, 12:06:00 AM  
Blogger Effie said...

My friend is Christian Reformed and she thought she'd go to a Christian school, one that was closely affiliated with her church--it was a Wesleyan school--I'd never even heard of that denomination before, but they didn't let her do anything (mind you she did them anyways)--weird! I didn't realize that Christian Reformed was so intolerant....
There's also a Christian college in Pensacola Florida that a Lutheran girl I know went to--and they wouldn't even let her wear pants--skirts only and they had to be at least knee length. Honestly, I don't understand it!

In my opinion, no one should discriminate for any reason--especially not for religion. We're supposed to share it with everyone and love everyone as God loves us! We are all equally as sinful--no one person is better than another and can never claim to be.

I ain't got no beefs with nobody (and no religion neither) That's just my opinion....chacun à son goût

Wed Nov 16, 09:22:00 AM  
Blogger Squirl said...

Danielle, at least you didn't get into any trouble that way. :-)

I like the idea of religions consolidating. Dogma is the biggest source of friction between them. If we could get over dogma then we'd find we have a lot of things in common.

Hi, Effie. I was hoping I wouldn't step on any toes here. This was really just supposed to be my story about my first kiss.

I'm only going on my personal experiences with people who are Christian Reformed. Maybe this area just sticks more closely to its roots. But there's a lot of intolerance from them. I noticed it when I was 11 and first moved to this area and I still see it today.

I feel, too, that religion is a terrible thing to fight about. It should be bringing people together, not tearing people apart. I believe that it's dogma, not spirituality, that keeps religions separate and fighting.

Wed Nov 16, 09:32:00 AM  
Blogger Effie said...

No toes stepped on...religion is a hard subject to blog about, eh?!

zoudbcn -- I'm sure that says something, but what? I'm not sure....

Wed Nov 16, 09:59:00 AM  
Blogger Squirl said...

Good to hear, Effie. I don't try to hurt anyone's feelings here. Religion and politics are both hard subjects and I usually try to keep both out of my blog. There are plenty of other blogs out there that specifically love the controversy. I want people to come here and enjoy themselves and have fun.

How about nleteez. Some kind of tease?

Wed Nov 16, 10:09:00 AM  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

I vote we consolidate subjects and talk about kissing in church.

dklikftt - dick lick ffffft?

Wed Nov 16, 12:45:00 PM  
Blogger Squirl said...

Well, Bucky, I've seen the priest kiss a lot of things when he's on the altar. I don't think any of those have been named Dick.

And I think your word verification is ending in fit.

gdhlvudo figure that one out for yourself.

Wed Nov 16, 12:49:00 PM  
Blogger Effie said...

I was kissed by the Pastor's son in a secluded area behind the church when I was 16 or 17--and that's all I'm sayin about that!

Hey--is your word verification judging me??!!
esxho - A sex ho?

Wed Nov 16, 01:44:00 PM  
Blogger Squirl said...

Effie, I love that story. And my word verification better not be dissin' you like that.

Not sure about mine.
slrbz Maybe it's calling us slobs.

Wed Nov 16, 08:19:00 PM  
Blogger Momentarily_Distracted said...

My mom said I couldn't date until I turned 30. She changed her mind...when I turned 30!
ROFL
My mom's silly.

oyrcpxja: the real quicker picker-upper.

Wed Nov 16, 08:48:00 PM  
Anonymous Amber said...

As re: for Effie:

zoudbcn: Ze loud bacon

The first word is French. ;-)

Mmm bacon.

xdpqvhdt

No vowels there! How about an acronym?

Xylophones don't play quietly. Very hard disk timers.

???

Thu Nov 17, 12:17:00 AM  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Amber - you're crackin' me up!

Effie - he kissed you in your "secluded area"?
Naughty, naughty...

Thu Nov 17, 08:05:00 AM  
Blogger Effie said...

Bucky--you're just naughty! ;)

Mmmm--bacon....I read a post by Fluid Pudding about pig candy--basically bacon with lotsa brown sugar baked until it's crispy and carmelized.....

Oh, sorry, I'm hungry! ;)

Thu Nov 17, 08:44:00 AM  
Blogger Effie said...

Oh--now my WF is vcalas: how did it know I like to sing (vocalist)

Thu Nov 17, 08:45:00 AM  
Anonymous Danielle said...

Did someone say Baaaaaaaaaacon?

Thu Nov 17, 09:19:00 AM  
Blogger SierraBella said...

After 41 comments there's nothing I can add!

Word verification: rkwkaqk
Must be something in Ducksch?

Thu Nov 17, 01:55:00 PM  
Blogger Squirl said...

Thanks for keeping everything lively here today! I'm in training today and break about over. See ya later.

Thu Nov 17, 02:17:00 PM  
Blogger eclectic said...

Training is over-rated. Don't they know you've got a blog?! Miss you...

Thu Nov 17, 08:29:00 PM  
Blogger Squirl said...

MD, does your mom have a sense of humor, or is she just that way. That's funny.

Bucky, naughty, naughty!

Effie, you're right about Bucky. And she'd be the first to admit it. Pig candy? Hmmm. One of these days we singing bloggers need to each put out an audio blog.

Danielle, yes. Apparently someone was getting hungry.

Sierrabella, there's always something left to say. Just ask Bucky. :-)

Eclectic, thank you and you're right about training. I miss you, too. It's gonna take me a while this weekend to catch up.

I'm uploading pictures to Flickr right now so I can do a pictures post.

Thu Nov 17, 10:03:00 PM  

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