Squirl's Nest

Friday, May 27, 2005

What was that, a mosquita?

Time for a change of pace in my stories. This one comes from a bar where I worked many years ago. This is also the place where the guy wanted pickled bologna.

There was this guy was in the bar. He was much older than the rest of the crowd. He was very shabbily dressed and wasn't with anyone. Seemed odd, but who am I to judge.

Later on I saw him staggering from table to table with a straw. When people were up dancing he was dipping into their drinks like an alcoholic mosquito.

I was busy and didn't call the bouncers. Probably should have, but, I didn't.

The next part I didn't see but heard about. After all those drinks (never mix your drinks) he couldn't hold it any longer. He found himself a corner where he threw up all over the shag carpeting. I'm guessing that's when someone got a bouncer.

I didn't clean it up.


Blogger Kitty said...

LOL - I've heard of a cocktail napkin.
I've heard of a cocktail weenie.
Never have I witnessed a cocktail skeeter.
You shoulda sprayed for those.

Fri May 27, 10:09:00 AM  
Blogger Squirl said...

At least we didn't have plethora of them.

Fri May 27, 10:19:00 AM  
Blogger Snakedriver said...

I took a girl on a date once. It didn't work out because she didn't know how to behave.

I met this girl at church and we had a date the next Saturday. We went to the "parking" spot at the lake where I was warqing her up with Southern Comfort. Damn girl barfed all over my truck. Now, when my dog pukes, he licks it right up. Think this girl would clean up after herself? Hell, no! She resisted so hard she made a total mess of herself and I had to wash her off in the lake. Thankfully, she passed out.

I took he home to he momma, having learned my lesson. I occasionally visit her to drain Leroy, but no more dates. She didn't remenber a thing, which was god condisering herlousy attitude. Someone marries her got it coming.

Fri May 27, 10:38:00 AM  
Blogger LadyBug said...

That was funny. And gross. The thought of someone going around drinking out of everyone else's drinks is just....yuck.

Alcoholic mosquito, indeed.

Fri May 27, 11:10:00 AM  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Time to outlaw straws in bars.

Fri May 27, 11:12:00 AM  
Blogger Squirl said...

Snakedriver, that's what happens when you try to get a girl drunk and take advantage of her. Sob stories usually work much better and, generally, don't involve vomit.

Ladybug, I have chuckled many times over the years thinking about that guy. Maybe it's funny because I was working and didn't have a drink out in his line of fire.

Mr B, you are so right. Do you remember my story about getting a straw stuck up my nose?

Fri May 27, 11:21:00 AM  
Blogger Susie said...

Cocktail skeeter. That is FUNNY, until you get to the puking on shag part. That shit ain't funny.

Fri May 27, 12:25:00 PM  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Yes, just like it was yesterday! You were recreating the scene from Mad Max and you used the wrong orifice. You were so cute when you did that...right up until the blood clot and all that nasty bidness.

Fri May 27, 01:44:00 PM  
Blogger Von Krankipantzen said...

I am totally with Susie here. I totally would have called the bouncers. I am crabby that way.

Fri May 27, 01:52:00 PM  
Blogger Squirl said...

Susie, as I said, I did NOT clean that up. Yuck!

Mr B, yeah, nasty bidness.

Kranki, thank goodness I was just a cocktail waitress at that time. Being part of the cleaning crew would have sucked.

Fri May 27, 02:42:00 PM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

That is pretty gross. That fella had worked out a pretty good system though.

Fri May 27, 02:48:00 PM  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Squirl, you didn't have a plethora of pungent, puking, parasites?

Pity no pictures.

Fri May 27, 08:46:00 PM  
Blogger Squirl said...

Jamie Dawn, yup it was really, really gross.

Bucky, you know how those plethora go.

Fri May 27, 09:09:00 PM  
Blogger Danielle said...

"Git me a fly swatter, Mabel! We got us one of them alcholic skeeters again!"

I love the image of an alcoholic mosquito.

Sat May 28, 12:22:00 PM  
Blogger Courtney said...

At least he had the decency to use a straw instead of slobbering all over other people's glasses. Or maybe he was just a germaphobe.

Sat May 28, 01:09:00 PM  
Blogger greatwhitebear said...

you may have coined a new phrase, as in; "those folks over theere are just barflies, but watch your drinks with that guy, he's a barskeeter"

Sat May 28, 02:43:00 PM  
Blogger SierraBella said...

I wonder if those citronella (spelling?) candles would have repelled this guy. They sure don't work in my yard!

Sat May 28, 10:52:00 PM  
Blogger Squirl said...

Danielle, it was years before I thought of him like that.

Courtney, the whole thing is still really gross, regardless.

GreatWhite, that's a great name. I hope there aren't very many of them around, though.

Sierrabella, citronella candles probably wouldn't work any better on a barskeeter than they do on regular mosquitoes. :-)

Sat May 28, 11:02:00 PM  
Blogger Ern said...

An alcoholic mosquito! Ha!

Sun May 29, 03:36:00 PM  
Blogger Squirl said...

Yes, Ern, and alcoholic mosquito. He's funny now, in retrospect.

Sun May 29, 08:55:00 PM  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

Ok that is gross. I have delt with lots of people stealing drinks, but not like that.

And no vomit cleaning is not in the bartending job description.

And Bucky, stop abusing Plethora or Ill give you a plethora of ass kickings.

Mon May 30, 11:11:00 AM  
Blogger Squirl said...

Jess, I guess it was pretty ingenious. You might just entice Bucky to use plethora even more that kind of promise. :-)

Mon May 30, 04:04:00 PM  

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